


Smile A Little Brighter

by leonheart2012



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Prompto Argentum, Coming Out, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 00:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19307038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonheart2012/pseuds/leonheart2012
Summary: Prompto is struggling with being bisexual.(This is a happy story, I promise...mostly happy)





	Smile A Little Brighter

Something in my body jolted when I saw him; his perfect hair reminding me of the way I used to not care how I felt, his beautiful, clear skin reminding me of everything I denied myself, his smile and laugh reminding me of why.

It was cruel, to be faced with something so wonderful and yet be saddened by it. He walked past, completely oblivious, and Noct raised a hand to him in greeting, getting a cheerful wave in return.

 _How is it so easy for him,_ I lamented. _How can he just wave and say hello without worrying that people might think...but of course, he's to be wed soon._

My sadness plagued me even after we had rented a room, well into the hours of the night, where I tossed and turned despite the long days both ahead and behind us.

When I woke, my mood was equally as sour, but I pushed it aside, determined to smile all the brighter, laugh all the louder, because no matter what happened, no one could know. No one could ever know what was wrong with me.

Especially not the people I cared about most.

 

I went about the next few days with it looming over me, the memory of his face an endless reminder of everything that had happened before we had left Insomnia. I remembered my father's hand connecting with my face, the shock that followed it. I remembered the yelling following me down the street as I fled. Never before that day had he hit me. The yelling was nothing new, but the slap - that had been almost too cruel, so cruel I couldn't process it until I was pushing the car to Hammerhead.

Then, we went to see Cindy again. She fixed up the Regalia, gave her a service, and I remembered that I wasn't completely broken. Her curvacious body and lively personality brought a smile to my face - the first genuine one for days - and the mood lingered with me long after we'd left.

I was grateful to know that none of the others had noticed my forced cheerfulness, but it also made me feel lonely. As we made camp, or fought, or even rode our chocobos, my heart ached. I tried as hard as I could to shove it aside, repress it like I had before, but now that I'd been reminded, it seemed as though I couldn't shake it. Every night when we laid down to sleep, the only thing I could think about was the curve of that boy's lips, the sparkle of his eyes. When we drove in the car, the sole thought running through my mind was that there was something wrong with me. It was constantly with me.

One night, while we were sleeping in a hotel, I asked if we could pair off, to have a bit more space. After a little bit of thought, Noct agreed. He went with Gladio and I was left with Ignis. I'd promised myself that whoever I ended up with, I would tell them, but as the minutes ticked by into hours, as each activity brought us closer to bed time, I lost my nerve, the words freezing in my throat.

The lights went out, and Ignis and I got into our beds. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what I would say. I came up with nothing. So instead, my body provided tears that I blinked away, forcing the lump in my throat down, begging myself not to cry. Frustrated, I got out of bed, going up to the roof, trying to clear my head, but instead I found Noct, who was just staring out at the stars.

I sat next to him anyway, and when he asked about it, I made up some bullshit excuse about being shy, about feeling useless, and it...almost helped. I still felt alone, and cowardly, but his words helped. One thing in particular made me feel a lot better; " _that's_ what's been bothering you?"

 _He'd noticed_.

 

The next few days, my normal, genuine smile was back. I laughed and joked without having to force it. The thoughts were still there, but it was a little better - easier to ignore them, easier to concentrate on other things.

They came back again when the server at the restaurant we stopped at was one of the most handsome young men I'd ever seen. His black hair and dark skin looked like heaven, and it made my heart thud and squeeze uncomfortably in my chest. That night, I stayed up as long as I could, insisting that I wanted to stay awake to photograph the moon.

"Alright. Do whatever you want, Prom. Just don't complain when you get tired by midday." Noct said, stretching and going into the tent.

I swallowed as I watched him go, wondering how it was that I'd ended up friends with royalty.  _Would telling him change how he feels about me? Will he think I was lying to him? Will he not want to be friends anymore?_

My throat tightened as I got out my camera. I fiddled with the lenses and thumbed through the ones we'd already saved. There was one of Noct and Gladio with their hands on each other's shoulders, smiling, in front of the Hammerhead diner. There was one of me, Gladio and Noct behind me, while we were in the car. There was one of Ignis that Noct had taken, while we were at the volcano, looking out over Cleigne.

A warm weight descended over my shoulders, and I looked up to see Ignis, who had just draped me in a jacket. "Thanks."

"Keep warm. It won't do for you to get sick." His eyes shifted to the camera, and he smiled. "That was a good photograph. What are the ones you took today?"

I thumbed through them until I got to the first I'd taken that morning - one of Gladio as he did his morning push-ups, the sweat on his body lit by the dawn rays.

"You have a good eye." Ignis commented, cycling through the fifteen or so shots I'd snapped. He stopped on one of himself and Noct, fighting a Dualhorn. "I've noticed, recently, that you've been...different. It happened after Lestallum. I know we're not...close, but if you need to...to talk, I can listen."

I swallowed and looked down at the camera, still in his hands. After a long moment, he sighed and handed me back the camera. As he walked away, the crushing lonliness returned, and I impulsively reached out and took hold of his wrist.

"Sit with me? Just for a bit?"

He looked sad. "Of course." Why did he look sad?

The sun set, and I took a picture of it, the light refracting into a red and orange array, skipping across the lake we were camped next to, setting everything on fire. Our legs dangled off the protected circle of stone, the breeze from the water bringing a fresh scent.

 _I like boys_. I thought it as hard as I could, hoping that it would somehow transfer to him telepathically, but he just took another deep breath, then another, and another, just  _living_ , without any burdens or worries. He continued to look out at the sunset, and I tried my hardest to call the words from the deepest depths of my soul. When I did eventually speak, however, it was not those words that came.

"I'm tired." Before he could suggest going to bed, I ploughed forward. "I'm tired of feeling lonely all the time. Of being on the road, of never feeling...safe, settled. Everything's turned upside down since the attack, and we've been running ever since." I looked down at the ground a few feet away. "But running to where? Things are changing. Not just out there, but between us, and I...I'm scared I'll get left behind. You and Gladio, Noct has known you since his childhood. I'm the newest." My voice dropped to a whisper. "The least useful. If anyone were to be left behind, it would make sense for it to be me."

"Noct cares about you just as much as he does myself and Gladio. He's not going to leave you behind. Besides, Gladio and I care about you, too. We're a team - we work together." His hand fell onto my shoulder and squeezed slightly. "You're not alone."

"Then why do I feel lonely?"

"I don't know, Prompto." His hand disappeared, then he leaned back, supporting himself with his arms behind him. "I suppose I really  _don't_ know much about you, do I? Tell me something. Something about you."

 _Now!_ I screamed at myself.  _Tell him now_ _!_

"My dad...would yell at me. All the time. About everything. Mum left pretty quickly, but she left me. Don't know why. I mean, she took my sister, but not...me. Maybe she knew..." My throat closed off, and I swallowed, trying to get the words out, but the only thing that came was water, falling from my eyes.

"Knew what?" Ignis prodded gently, leaning forward again.

"That something was wrong with me." I whispered, my voice thick.

He frowned. Strangely, everything but his face was blurry in my vision. The quickly darkening sky, the trees, the stray strands of my hair...they all faded to nothingness. He looked so sure as his hand found my shoulder again, so reassuring. I'd never wanted to kiss anyone so much in my life.

"I...I like boys. Like...as more than friends."

His hand moved to the back of my neck, his eyes growing even more sad than before. "Prompto, that's not a flaw. It's who you are. There's nothing wrong with liking boys as more than friends. And I can guarantee that Noctis and Gladiolus won't mind either. You're still you. Nothing's changed."

The knot in my stomach loosened, and I felt myself cry even harder. Ignis rubbed my back in small circles, and I wondered if he'd ever done the same for Noctis. The tent rustled and then he was there, his hand on my lower back, asking if I was okay.

Suddenly wanting to be alone, I shrugged them both off and walked into the woods a little way, sitting back against a tree and sobbing until it had all run out of me. When I made my way back to the tent, Ignis was still sitting up, a cookbook in front of his face, pen in his hand. He occasionally brought the book to his lap and scribbled something in before picking it up and looking over the recipes.

As soon as he was aware of my presence, he closed the book and stood up. "Are you alright?" He asked, keeping his voice soft, and I wondered just how long I'd been out there.

I nodded and went past him, ducking into the tent. Both Gladiolus and Noctis were already asleep, the former curled on his side, the latter flat on his back, his brow creased. It was strange; I'd only really known them for five years, and yet I'd known before even looking exactly what they'd look like while they slept. I would have been able to step over their forms without any light. We'd fought so many battles, I knew exactly where they'd be without having to look over my shoulder.

_And yet I can't bring myself to tell them I'm gay._

_No, not gay - bisexual._ Some part of my mind protested, but I was too tired to take note of anything any part of my brain said except  _sleep_ , so I just curled up on my bed roll and closed my eyes.

 

The next morning, I felt more awake and alive than I had in ages. I felt lighter. Every time I looked over at Ignis, my whole being lit up with happiness because  _someone knew_.  _He knew_ , and I was going to be okay. He mnew and he didn't hate me, didn't judge me. He hadn't yelled, or hit me, hadn't gotten angry.

It was a strange feeling; knowing that someone knew my secret, trusting that they wouldn't reveal it, knowing that they weren't angry or upset about it. Everyone I'd told before Ignis had been that way with me. My childhood friends had shied away, afraid of 'catching' the sickness. My father had tried to yell and beat it out of me. The first boy I'd had a crush on had run away. I'd always been left standing alone. I was almost scared of what his acceptance meant, because if there were people who thought it was okay, then I was hiding it for no reason - I wasn't sick, perverted or wrong.

 _It means_ they _were the problem._

 

Slowly, as nothing changed between myself and Ignis, I realised that they  _wouldn't_. I relaxed back into the old me, but there was something there that hadn't existed before. It took me ages to figure out what it was.

One day, when I was helping Ignis by keeping the fire lit and at a good temperature while he chopped vegetables, it hit me. I felt safer. I felt as though I had a safety net to fall back on. If everyone else in the world found out tomorrow, and they all hated me for it, there was one person who I knew wouldn't care. He would still be there.

I looked over to him and saw him smiling softly at me. My breath rushed out of me, and I found myself smiling back. Noct and Gladio came back from their training at that moment, and Ignis turned back to his vegetables.

"So Prom," Gladio started, "we should probably train together some time, make sure you're not getting complacent with those exercises I set you."

"You know I'm not!" I protested. "I get up with you every morning early just to do sit-ups and stuff with you, remember?"

"It's still a good idea." Noct said, folding his arms over his chest as he lounged back against Kikin, which was the name he'd given to his chocobo. "No matter how good you've gotten, you can still always improve."

I sighed and hung my head. "Alright, then. How early are we talking?"

"Five should do it." He said gruffly, watching me add another stick to the fire. "Meet me in the thicket to the north. There are some good targets out there."

I lamented the hour of sleep I would lose, but agreed anyway. Ignis, who had finally finished chopping the vegetables, came over to the fire and told me I'd been doing a good job of tending the fire with a sharp, accusing look at Noctis, who threw up his hands and insisted it had been  _one time_ , and he'd never fallen asleep while watching the fire since. It was good to feel like a part of the team again.

 

I stretched and greeted Gladiolus as I emerged from the tent. He was already doing his morning routine, jogging on the spot before getting down and doing some one-armed push-ups, getting up and doing it all over again.

He smiled at me and stopped what he was doing, getting his sword and shield from beside his pack and leading the way to the thicket, despite telling me to meet him there. I supposed he hadn't expected me to get up so early.

As we walked, we chatted about the weather. When we finally stopped, we'd discussed the trees, the clouds, and the state of the undergrowth. He bit his lip and turned to me with an apologetic expression.

"Prom, I didn't ask you out here to train. I just...I've known you long enough to know when you're feeling down, and for the past few weeks, you've been all over the place. I'm worried about you, and I know Noct is, too. I talked to Ignis, and he told me that you said something, but to ask you about it myself. So...I'm doing that. What's going on, Prom?"

I swallowed. I was grateful that Ignis hadn't revealed my secret, but even after telling one person, it felt like a monumental event to tell someone else, even if that person was just Gladiolus, who had taken me under his wing as soon as he'd seen me with Noct, teaching me everything I knew about guns and fighting. Before Gladio, I had been the scrawniest, skinniest boy in my grade. After Gladio, I was still small, but muscled. He'd made me a better person and a better fighter.

 _I can trust him, just like I can trust Ignis. Just like I can trust Noct_. Even so, it wasn't easy.

Gladio cleared his throat, and I realised I'd just been staring at him for a really long time. There was a blush high on his cheeks. "Of course, you don't have to talk. We can just train. That's...um..." He bent down and picked up my gun, which had fallen from my hand at some point, and handed it to me. He pointed to a thin tree with grey bark. "Shoot that one." He then pointed to another, similar tree. "Then that one."

After a few drills testing my aim, he had me running in circles until I was out of breath.

Finally, we started to walk back. He was in the middle of complimenting just how much I'd improved when it slipped out.

"I like guys."

He stopped short and blinked at me. "What?"

"That's...what's been bothering me. I saw someone, and it reminded me of...you know, and then I just...got really sad."

He frowned. "Why would you get sad about that?"

"Because...well, it hasn't really gone all that well for me so far." It was frustrating, having to explain how I felt yet again, especially since I knew I was going to have to do it a bunch more times, starting with Noctis and ending who knew where. I felt like I was just repeating the same words over and over - the words I'd whispered to myself to practice coming out for months before I'd told my dad, the words I'd kept in my heart for forever, the words that danced around in my brain at every waking moment.

Gladiolus looked confused, so I went even further into it, telling him about the reactions of the people I'd told so far. 

"The only person who's been even remotely supportive so far has been Ignis."

His eyes were sad, now. "I'm sorry it's been like that for you, Prom. You're...there's nothing wrong with liking boys. There's nothing wrong with you."

It still didn't feel like that could be true. How could it be? I'd been told by teachers, friends, peers, family - everyone for years of my life - that being attracted to boys was wrong. Unnatural. How could they all have been wrong?

Before I'd had any more time to think about it, Gladio had pulled me into a one-armed hug, his massive, muscled chest pressing against my cheek for a moment, before he stepped back. "Are you...gonna be okay?"

"I'm fine." I said, then gave him a small smile. We walked back, getting scolded by Noctis for taking too long while Ignis presented us with the breakfast he had prepared. I caught the look he and Ignis shared and felt something warm and fuzzy light up in me as my heart clenched.

 _"Gladio and I care about you, too."_ I remembered Ignis saying, and knew that he'd been telling the truth. I looked over at Noctis, who was still grumbling about having to wait before setting out, but his hand was stroking over Kikin's feathers, smiling at the gentle cooing noises she was making.

I knew I was going to have to tell him somehow, sometime soon, but I just didn't know how or when. I had orchestrated coming out to my father so that if he had a bad reaction, I would be leaving anyway, but I couldn't do that with Noctis. If he didn't accept me, I would have nothing and no one - no choices. If Noctis sent me away, it wouldn't matter if I had the support of a thousand people, because I wouldn't be welcome to be with my best friend in the world. If Noctis didn't accept me, I would die.

 

There were countless opportunities, but every time I came even close to saying anything, something stopped me. Every night when we stopped and set up camp, I wanted to pull him aside and tell him. When we were in the car, I wanted to shout it over the rushing of the wind. When we fought and won, I wanted to grip his arms and just...tell him.

Ignis pulled me aside one night. "I can see the anticipation in your face, Prompto. It'll be fine. Just tell him. If you need, Gladio and I can be there. However you want to do it is fine, and we'll support you the whole way through it."

I swallowed and nodded, grateful to him for it. "I...not tonight."

He nodded in understanding and let go of my arm, straightening. I never really thought about how much taller than me he was, but he really had to stoop to get to eye-level with me. "Whenever you're ready."

 

The next night, as we were sitting around eating dinner, I knew it was then or not at all. I cleared my throat and set my bowl to the side.

"Noct, I...uh...have something to tell you. Iggy and Gladio know this, but, um...I...I'm bisexual."

He blinked at me a few times. "That..." He sighed and turned to Ignis and Gladio before turning back to me. " _That's_ what it was? That's what this has all been about? The sadness, the looks, everything? Something I've known since high school? I was worried you were  _dying_."

"You...you knew?"

"Yeah. Kinda hard not to notice the lingering looks at the boys in school. Or the waiter at that diner. Although I have to agree with you on that one - he  _was_ very good-looking."

I frowned. "You like guys too?"

"Not at all, but I can still appreciate them. That guy at Lestallum was also pretty cute. Nice face. So...that was it? You're not dying?"

"No." I whispered, still shocked.  _He'd known. All that time, he'd known._ "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't know if you wanted me to. I mean, before we graduated, if I even brought up another boy, you'd almost have a nervous breakdown. I was waiting for you to be ready. I'm glad you felt you could tell me, even if it took five years."

"I...so...you don't mind?"

"No, of course not. Why would I? Prom, there's nothing wrong with liking boys. Absolutely nothing."

After hearing it so many times, it started to erase the feelings that I'd had about it before. If my closest friends said it didn't matter, maybe it really didn't. Maybe there was nothing wrong with me after all. The realisation that maybe I had been lied to my whole life crushed me. Could I ever be happy again? But as I looked around at the people who cared about me most, at the people I cared about the most, I knew I could be. And maybe things had changed, but it was for the better. I wasn't going to be left behind, or excluded. I was going to be just fine.

I looked up at Noct, Ignis and Gladio and found them all smiling at me. And I smiled back, just a little brighter.


End file.
